I told him I didn't want to

So one night, I remember it was valentine's day a while ago.. and I was out in a club and started talking to this guy. He was really nice to me, we got on, we danced, we kissed etc but I knew I didn't want to sleep with him that night. Anyway we decided to leave, which I was ok with and I even invited him to come back to mine. But I said he could come back for a spoon but I did not want to have sex with him and that if he'd rather not come round (coz there'd be no sex) that was completely fine and I wouldn't be offended. Anyway he said that was fine and he walked back with me. So we walked back to mine and we were chatting and I remember reminding him on the way back, several times, that there would be no sex that night (I didn't want to be a tease.. even though it's totally within my rights to say no whenever..) and he said that was fine.

Anyway we got back to mine and things started going down and the next thing I know he's having sex with me, even though I told him I didn't want to. In fact I remember one moment him say 'I feel like you're not enjoying this' to which I said 'I told you I didn't want to so no I'm not enjoying it' but he just ignored me and carried on. When it was done he got up, got dressed and left me lying there on my bed. I was in shock for a while, not quite sure what had just happened. Convinced it was my fault coz I should have shouted or shoved him off me or something, why hadn't I?! I spoke to some friends who echoed my thoughts, it was my fault, I shouldn't have invited him back in the first place.

So since then I was put off sex for many months and following this have had some very drunken encounters with guys, where on reflection I was in no position to consent (well some of these I don't even remember happening) but yeh. That's my story. Alcohol is common with all these times which makes everything a bit grey... but if I say no, if I can't say yes or if I am unconscious I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX.

She started shouting at me

I met a girl at a party, we got on really well. Another friend had warned me about her, said she was kind of trouble. But i was happy to be getting attention and she was really beautiful. We had a little snog and then she asked me if I wanted to go outside. I must have been really young, like 19 or something.

We went outside to the bushes alongside a main road. We were having a snog and she took her trousers and her pants off and she was straddling me trying to get at my cock. I said I didn't have a condom and asked her if she had one. She said no, then told me not to worry about it and she carried on trying to get my cock out. I thought had she not heard me, or not understood me? I didn't think at the time that she was trying to have sex with me without my consent. I put my hand on it and said that I didn't want to, not without a condom. I found it hard to say no. I think it was probably my age and I think it's hard for most people that age to stand by what they want in the face of someone they like.

She got really upset and started shouting at me. She grabbed her clothes and stormed out the bushes. She got back to the party and started shouting about me that i had tried to rape her. I froze and totally panicked - proper frozen with fear and I didn't know what to say. There were loads of people staring. Then a mutual friend came out, asked me what the hell I'd done. I said I had no idea and that I didn't know what was going on. Then my friend suddenly softened, she said this this had happened before. That was reassuring. And everyone heard our mutual friend saying she does this all the time and to just ignore her.

I have no idea what she'd been through that triggered her like that. Maybe she had felt embarrassed and ashamed that she had pushed me to have sex and that's why she did it. But then what if something had happened? Then no one would believe her.

I said no, but only once

My first time was with a friend of the family, a guy I had fancied for a long time. He was much older than me, in his late 30s. I had just turned 20 and we were making out in my dorm and I told him I didn't want to have sex with him yet (but didn't tell him I was a virgin because at the time I found this embarrassing). We proceeded to make out on my bed, but a few moments later he started to have intercourse with me and I didn't tell him no again. I think he was caught up in the heat of the moment, I could have, should have said no again as I didn't want to have sex, but my first no should have been followed up with a question or some kind of communication on his part before starting to have intercourse. After we were done, he noted rather unemotively "Oh, you're all trembling."