It was a pleasant night at a friend's place, with my whole tight group of friends from uni. At the time, we were all in our early twenties and we were exploring our sexuality and possible matches among the members of the group through classics spanning from "spin the bottle" to "have you ever."
That night I noticed that one of my girl friends was being a little more physical with me than usual, which combined with the extremely good chemistry we had quickly led me to interpret the situation as a sexual signal. The two of us ended up sleeping in the same bed, which was nothing weird: it had already happened plenty of times without it being a sexual encounter. Then, I realized that I would like to have sex with her and encouraged by the alcohol combined with her signals, I started gently stroking her head and getting closer. She did not reject me, but she didn't respond either. I was sure her silence was a sign of approval and that she was actually enjoying the moment.
I then started touching her body. But from the moment my hand reached the lower part of her breast, her silence started being loudly awkward. When I started fingering her, she immediately stiffened and after a bunch of seconds she removed my hand and told me she wasn't into what I was doing.
I immediately froze and realized she hadn't been feeling at ease from the beginning. I felt extremely sorry and ashamed, and we fell asleep in different corners of the bed without discussing it. The morning after, we talked it out. I explained that I was sure she was sending me signals, but apparently it was only my perception. She accepted and appreciated my apologies, but her face wasn't on the same page - she looked really shaken.
Talking it out when it was still fresh kept our friendship alive, but I wish I would have expressed my feelings that night before having tried such a direct approach. I am really proud of her for speaking out right away in such a delicate and overwhelming situation, and amazed by the strength and self-awareness she showed. If it wasn't for her, I would have gone further and it would have become an unerasable mistake.
Seduction is a matter of personal perception, but I've learnt that it should always be accompanied by communication, rather than defined as "having courage" and crossing social boundaries.
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